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From what I read in the papers about Tom Cruz and Katie Holmes, it sounds like the lawyers have been lined up and the battle for custody of a young child is beginning. It’s the same story we’ve heard and seen many times. The divorce of two people is hard enough but for two people…

Divorce and separation, like anything emotional, can be a bit socially awkward. Friends who want to help just don’t know how. They know they can’t wave a magic wand and it is uncomfortable seeing someone you care about in distress. Sometimes that awkwardness causes friends to withdraw which can heap even more pain on an…

I used to work with a lady who would mention her divorce within a few moments of meeting someone. It was as if she couldn’t help herself, the words would just tumble out of her mouth. She had so much else to talk about, she did an interesting job, was involved with amateur dramatics and…

It’s funny what gets you through each day when things are difficult. When I was getting divorced we had friends next door who were also getting divorced. In the end because I stayed in our house I compared notes with the next-door neighbour’s wife who stayed in their house. We used to try and encourage…

My marriage ended because my husband had an affair. Although I wanted to try to make things work he didn’t. I felt so confused I just couldn’t see where things had gone so wrong. We loved each other, had fun together, rarely argued and talked about our feelings on a regular basis. I was definitely…

I love an exercise that we do on the RDS course about listening to each other which we did this week. We got 30 people to do “reflective listening”: just listen, reflect back to the speaker some of the words and thoughts that they say and then ask “what is the most important thing for…

It’s funny how you remember certain events very clearly. Lady Diana dying. Kate and William’s wedding. I still remember the morning that Karen told me that she was having an affair even though it was over 15 years ago. It was a beautiful spring morning and the sun was shining through the windows. I think…

For me the best way of coping with the emotional fallout from my separation was to focus on small manageable things I could do to help myself.  One of the things I love about music is its ability to change my mood. I decided to set up a playlist of uplifting songs on my iPod to…

I was driving my car this morning and was cut up badly by a small car driving in a very crazy manner. I so wanted to get back at him somehow. He had honked his horn at me and I at him. He ended up being in front of me and I was left behind. …

About a year after my separation I was talking things over with my Mum and something she said really stopped me dead in my tracks. She said she that she was convinced that if I could just let go of the bitterness I had for my ex and the woman he had the affair with…