Ask for What you Need From the Right People

Divorce and separation, like anything emotional, can be a bit socially awkward. Friends who want to help just don’t know how. They know they can’t wave a magic wand and it is uncomfortable seeing someone you care about in distress.

Sometimes that awkwardness causes friends to withdraw which can heap even more pain on an already deeply hurtful situation. Happily the solution might be easier than you think….

Everyone has different skills and character strengths. Thinking about what you need, matching that to a particular friend and then just asking, makes it easier for your friends and family to help you. It is a win-win, you get the support you need and they feel relieved that they could actually do something to help.

If you want a night to just forget about everything – call the sociable chatty friend and just say “I really need to just go out this evening and forget about everything.”

If you want to talk about the situation and how you are feeling call the mate who is a really good sympathetic listener and say “I could really do with having a coffee with you and talking this over.”

Perhaps you are having problems making sense of the legal forms and letters – now is the time to call your practical, logical friend and ask them to read it over for you.