Surviving Heartbreak After Your Parents’ Divorce
When your parents’ marriage ends, it can feel like the ground underneath your feet has cracked open. Even as an adult, their divorce can stir up emotions you may not have expected, like grief, anger and confusion. Your parents’ divorce might even make you question your views on love, trust and relationships, or you may struggle to come to terms with the new version of your family unit. If you’re navigating this type of heartbreak, you need to process your emotions, heal and find strength as you redefine what family looks like to you. Here are some tips on how:
Grieve the Loss of Your Family Unit
Although divorce is common, it is not a simple event to move on from, especially if you were young when your parents split up. Taking the time to grieve and move through your emotions properly is invaluable when it comes to surviving the heartbreak of your parents’ divorce.
While it’s valuable to talk to your parents when something is bothering you, that might not feel possible if there’s turmoil in the family. If a parent isn’t able to offer the emotional support you need right now, try confiding in a loved one or therapist you can talk to about the emotions you’re feeling to help you move through and overcome them.
Take Care of Your Mental Health
Caring for your mental health is essential for all people, even those not suffering heartbreak, because it affects everything in our daily lives. Studies have even shown that 47% of university students have symptoms of depression and anxiety. In fact, mental health problems as whole in UK university students have nearly tripled since 2017. These feelings can be made worse by a significant family event like divorce.
Taking the time to care for your mental health after your parents’ divorce is essential. Try doing one thing every day that makes you feel better mentally. This could mean journaling your feelings, exercising or engaging in an artful activity.
Connect With People
Divorce is an isolating experience for everyone involved. Staying isolated is not ideal, as it could make you feel worse about your situation. Instead, try connecting with people.
Talk to people you love and trust, find support groups or read online forums of people in a similar situation. This will allow you to see that you are not the only one facing these issues and that there is no shame in what you’re going through.
Work On Communication
As you adjust to your new family setup, you will likely encounter some communication differences. Your home may no longer function in the same way, and you need to find new ways to communicate with each of your parents.
Take the time to find a communication style and routine that works for you and your parents. Ironing out all the kinks will take a while, but once you have a solid base, you can build off of that for future communications.
Reconnect With Your Parents
During and in the weeks and months following your parents’ divorce, you might feel a significant disconnect from one or both of them. When you feel ready, reconnecting with your parents is an excellent way to heal the heartbreak you felt during the divorce.
It may take some time before you and your parents can have open and honest conversations about your thoughts and feelings, but you don’t have to do that right away.
Start small with mundane conversations about your hobbies and interests. As you become more comfortable chatting with each other again, you will be more open to having more meaningful conversations that will allow for a more profound reconnection.
Take Your Time
Healing is not linear, and there is no clear way to know when you will feel better about your situation. The good news is that you don’t have to rush it. It is critical that you take the time to sit with your emotions and allow them to pass before moving on in this situation.
You should take time for yourself as often as possible until you start to feel like yourself again. What takes you months to overcome might have taken someone else weeks, and that’s completely normal. You will process things in your own time and way.
Finding Peace Amid the Change
Heartbreak after your parents’ divorce is a journey, but it doesn’t have to define you. You can emerge stronger and more compassionate by acknowledging your emotions, seeking support and embracing self-healing practices.
Healing is not about erasing the pain but learning to carry it gracefully. In time, you will build a new sense of peace with your idea of family and be able to overcome emotions far more quickly.
Author Bio
With a personal focus on recovery and growth, Jack Shaw writes to provide actionable steps and wisdom to those in need of some. Jack is the senior Lifestyle editor of Modded Magazine, where he explores topics of mental health, parenting, hobbies and relationships. You can find his works published in Tiny Buddha, Parents.com, Calmerry and more.
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