Divorce can shake up every aspect of life, and the relationship you have with your mom and dad is no exception. It’s normal to feel distanced or unsure about how to navigate your connection with each parent after the split. While this time can be emotional, it’s also an opportunity to rebuild and strengthen your bond with both of your parents. Here’s how to approach rebuilding your relationship with a parent post-divorce, no matter where you are in the process.
Acknowledge the Pain
Divorce is tough, and it’s OK to feel hurt by the changes it brings. Ignoring those feelings or pretending everything is fine only makes it harder to move forward. Acknowledging your emotions — whether sadness, anger or confusion — doesn’t mean you’re weak or stuck in the past. It means you’re allowing yourself to fully process the situation. Facing these feelings head-on opens the door to healing.
When you suppress or deny your feelings, it’s like putting a bandage on a wound without treating it. Eventually, those unresolved emotions can impact your relationship with both parents and even affect your mental health.
Taking the time to recognize how the separation has affected you allows for growth. If you feel disconnected from a parent, acknowledging that hurt can help you understand what you need to move toward mutual healing and understanding. Whether you talk it out with someone you trust, write down your thoughts or seek professional support, acknowledging the pain is the first step to finding peace. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the family you once knew while creating space to build something new and healthier with both parents.
Practice Patience
Rebuilding a relationship after divorce takes time, and patience is your greatest ally in this process. It’s natural to want things to return to normal quickly, but relationships — especially those strained by big changes — need space to heal and grow. Give yourself and your parents the grace to figure out the new dynamic without rushing it. There may be awkward moments, and you might not feel as connected right away, but that’s all part of the process.
It’s also important to be patient with your parents. Separation can be just as tough on them as it is on you, and they may be dealing with their own emotional challenges. Separated adults often face significant stress, especially when it comes to finances. Things like increased taxes, court costs and legal fees can add strain to an already tight budget. On top of that, they’re likely dealing with housing costs and adjusting to life on a single income.
They may not always know how to navigate the new relationship right away, and that’s OK. You and your parent can create mutual understanding and respect by allowing each other room for mistakes and growth.
Set Clear Parameters
Setting boundaries is crucial when reconnecting with a parent after divorce. It helps protect your emotional well-being and prevents you from feeling caught in the middle. Make it clear that while you want to rebuild your relationship, you’re not there to be a mediator or take sides.
For example, if a parent starts discussing the separation or the other parent in a negative light, it’s OK to respectfully let them know you’re uncomfortable with those conversations. Establishing these parameters maintains a healthy relationship by ensuring the focus stays on your connection, not the conflicts between your parents.
Find Common Ground
One of the best ways to reconnect with a parent is by finding common interests or activities you both enjoy. It could be a shared love for a TV show, cooking together, going on walks or a hobby you can both explore. Focusing on these mutual interests allows you to bond without the weight of the past hanging over you. It’s a fantastic way to create new, positive experiences that strengthen your relationship naturally.
Even if your interests seem different, take the time to explore what makes your parents happy and be open to trying something new. It’s less about the activity and more about spending meaningful time together. Finding this common ground can make reconnecting feel less forced and more like rediscovering the relationship in a fresh way.
Strengthen Your Relationship
If you’re struggling with your parents’ separation and looking for a way to move forward, Restored Lives is here to help. The Your Direction programme offers a free five-session workshop designed specifically for young people like you. In a safe, supportive environment, you’ll meet others who understand what you’re going through, share your experiences and learn tools to help you navigate this challenging time. Take the first step toward healing and building a brighter future — sign up for Your Direction today.
Author Bio
With a personal focus on recovery and growth, Jack Shaw writes to provide actionable steps and wisdom to those in need of some. Jack is the senior Lifestyle editor of Modded Magazine, where he explores topics of mental health, parenting, hobbies and relationships. You can find his works published in Tiny Buddha, Parents.com, Calmerry and more.
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