If you’re a child of divorced parents, you may feel like nobody truly understands what you’re going through. Family breakdown can be a tough, often isolating experience. Even though it’s common, it’s rarely discussed openly.
What is Family Breakdown?
Family breakdown happens when the relationship within a family becomes strained or fractured. For you, this might look like your parents’ divorce, separation or constant conflict. It brings big changes — maybe you’re switching between two homes, adjusting to new family members or handling financial stress. Each family breakdown is unique, but it can bring on feelings that are tough to work through on your own.
The Invisible Impact
The effects of family breakdown aren’t always obvious from the outside. You might look like you’re handling things fine — you still go to school, spend time with friends and keep up with activities. But on the inside, you could be carrying sadness or confusion that others don’t see, which keeps the conversation in the shadows. Every child experiences their parents’ divorce differently, so there’s no right or wrong way to feel.
Sometimes, you may feel like you have to pick sides, or maybe you’re hiding your emotions so you don’t upset your parents. These hidden feelings are normal but can be hard to deal with, especially when it seems like no one is acknowledging what you’re experiencing.
A Culture of Shame
One big reason why people don’t discuss family breakdown is because of the shame that sometimes surrounds it. In many cultures, divorce can feel like a “failure” for a family, and that pressure can make people avoid the topic altogether.
Maybe you feel embarrassed about your parents’ divorce or worried that people will judge you or even think it’s your fault. This shame might make it easier to stay silent, even though keeping everything inside can make it harder to process what’s really going on.
Society’s Expectations
Some of society still holds onto this idea of a “perfect family.” You probably see it on TV or social media — families that stay together through everything and look flawless on the outside. But real life doesn’t always fit that mould.
Divorce happens, and families can look different. Still, society’s ideals can make you feel like something is wrong with your family or you should somehow be able to fix it. This can leave you feeling out of place or overlooked, making it harder to talk about what’s happening.
Getting Support
If you’re dealing with a family breakdown, remember you’re not alone, and you don’t have to go through it by yourself. Here are some ways to find the support you need:
1. Talk to Someone You Trust
Whether it’s a friend, a teacher, a sibling, a counsellor or another family member, try reaching out to someone who can listen. Sometimes, just one caring and kind adult can change the entire trajectory of your journey. Finding someone to talk to can make a big difference in helping you process your feelings and gain perspective.
2. Online Resources
There are websites and forums where other kids and teens share their experiences and give advice. Knowing others are going through the same thing can make you feel less alone.
3. Attend Supportive Workshops
Look for workshops specifically for young people dealing with family breakdowns. These sessions can help you build resilience, learn healthy communication and connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
4. Look Into Counselling
Many schools and communities offer support groups or counselling specifically for children of divorced parents, so you can talk to people who understand. Talking therapy can be especially beneficial for children of divorce as it’s an opportunity to get all your thoughts and feelings off your chest.
5. Have a Heart-to-Heart With Your Parents
When you feel ready, consider opening up to your parents about how the divorce affects you. They might not fully realise the impact, and talking about it can bring the support you need.
Let’s Rise Above Family Breakdown Together
If you’re ready to rise above and take the first step toward understanding and coping with your parents’ separation, consider joining Your Direction. This free five-session workshop is a supportive space where you’ll explore the challenges of family breakdown alongside counsellors. Connect with others who know what you’re going through and gain valuable tools for resilience. Sign up today and start your journey toward healing and growth.
Author Bio
With a personal focus on recovery and growth, Jack Shaw writes to provide actionable steps and wisdom to those in need of some. Jack is the senior Lifestyle editor of Modded Magazine, where he explores topics of mental health, parenting, hobbies and relationships. You can find his works published in Tiny Buddha, Parents.com, Calmerry and more.
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