Need support during divorce or a breakup? Does talking help?

When you are going through separation or divorce does talking help? You might feel like a stuck record or that your friends are tired of hearing about it but read on for the real reasons we should be talking more about heartbreak.

Should I talk about it?

If you are going through a rough breakup, sometimes it can be hard to know if it is OK to talk about it. I know when I was going through my separation I was worried that my friends would feel like it was all I could talk about. What if they got bored of hearing about it? I didn’t want to depress them and I felt that I should try to be brave and hold it all in. Sometimes I wanted to talk and other times I struggled to find the words to express how I was feeling.  If you feel you need more support during a divorce or a breakup speaking up and sharing how you feel can really help.

Breaking up or getting a divorce – does talking help?

At Restored Lives, the format of the course includes small group discussions. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to and people are only encouraged to share what they want to.  We do this to give people an opportunity to realise they aren’t alone and as a way to access more support during a divorce or a breakup. Speaking up and sharing how you feel can really help. When we receive the feedback forms at the end of a course the small group discussions are always the part that people praise the most.

Some example comments about talking to others

Here are some of the comments we have received from Restored Lives guests who have been on the course

“[being part of a small group discussion was] Fantastic because experiences are shared”

“I felt able to open up”

“very encouraging”

We encourage talking about heartbreak

We always encourage people to speak about how they are feeling and share their experiences. When you are going through a breakup a lot can change in your life all at once. Suddenly you can’t speak to your ex in the same way and your friendships may also be shifting as a result of your breakup.  Finding someone to speak to, who can support you in a non-judgemental way can make a significant difference in how you recover. This might be a professional counsellor, a good friend or family member. Holding your feelings in or isolating yourself can be really damaging to your wellbeing.

10 reasons why it helps to talk

  1. Identify how you are feeling
  2. Feel heard and understood
  3. Releases tension
  4. Hear practical tips that have helped others
  5. View your experience from different perspectives (e.g. a single Dad or single Mum or a divorcee without children
  6. Untangle how you feel about things
  7. Get encouragement
  8. Be supported
  9. Saying things out loud can make them less overwhelming
  10. Your experience can help others too

What next?

If you are going through a difficult breakup, separation or divorce and would like to find support. Check out our Find a Course page to see if there is a course near you.

Here are some other blogs you may be interested in reading

Should I forgive my ex?

How to get through Valentine’s alive