A father’s point of view

Often when we read about single parenthood it is from the mother’s point of view.  The following post looks at the pain of divorce when you are a Dad. It is a very raw testimony.

‘I don’t want ready-made answers but most of all I want to be listened to and I want someone to understand what I am really feeling. I want to know that God still loves me (my church doesn’t) and I can be forgiven because of Jesus (but the church sees me as unforgivable because none of my previous friends speak to me). I have to pretend that I am ok because I am a Christian but I am hurting inside and when I am on my own, I cry like a baby. Where can I be who I really am, genuine and not putting on a front?

If I was a prostitute, a murderer, drug addict, ex-offender, I would get more attention and love from my Church! Why is that? Where does it say in the Bible that divorce is unforgivable? Why does church avoid the subject that is so hurtful? As a result I feel marginalized, dirty and unforgivable?
A married Christian woman said to me that she would not welcome divorced men in her group because they are disruptive and only interested in getting the women into bed!

I have lost my children, I have lost my fatherhood because my ex re-married very, very, soon after the divorce. My children never had the chance to settled into co- parenting, neither did I, as I had no choice but to accept tri-parenting. I feel threatened because he is with my children more than I am with them. I don’t get to read them bedtime stories, I don’t have those spontaneous moments with them because my access is limited. I miss them so much that when I see them, I tend to do so much with them and I fear that I am suffocating them to compensate my need. I feel that I am disproportionately penalized as my ex initiated the divorce and I have not been unfaithful and have tried very hard to save the marriage, but she had moved on and had someone on the side, but always denied it. Yet I am treated as the one at fault?
What justice is there and why is the man always seen as the one at fault? Is there a reason to live?’

The RDS course offers a place where you can come and be really honest about how you are feeling, meet others who have been there and get support as well as practical advice.

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