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Mother’s Day

I’ve really struggled with Mother’s Day since divorce at times. This will be my fifth one on my own.  (Yeah I’m counting). To the point that I now actually make a deliberate choice to stay away from Facebook on that day, as I find all the status updates or pictures about how spoilt they’ve been,…

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What can we learn from Nelson Mandela?

There is a new film out on Nelson Mandela who was an amazing man. Much written about him, but is there anything that we can learn from him about going through a relationship breakdown? From South Africa’s perspective the relationship between black and whites had completely broken down, so much so that there were rules…

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Ten tips for getting through Christmas

Christmas can be such a tough time when you are separated or divorced.  Every advert seems to be about the “ideal” family and the pressure to create the perfect Christmas feels huge, especially if you have children. Perhaps you are facing your first Christmas alone or without your children for the first time or maybe…

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Father’s day – a myriad of emotions

I always find this day a bit tough. Just a bit of background: my children’s Dad chose to walk away from our marriage and our children, when they were 11 months and 2 and a quarter years old, to have a full time relationship with a woman 10 years younger than me. I find myself…

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Top tips for parenting post-divorce and separation

This is the third blog in our short series about the challenges of divorce when you are a parent.  In this post Kathy shares some of her top tips for coping with children post-divorce. I always write their Dad’s next contact time on the Calendar, to help the children count down to it and you try and…

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More Stories of Recovery

We had our end of course dinner on Monday where we also invited people back from previous courses. It was so exciting to hear people’s stories of recovery. Here are some of their stories (I will write some more over the next few days). What is recovery like for you? “Letting go of the pain…

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The same story – Cruz and Holmes

From what I read in the papers about Tom Cruz and Katie Holmes, it sounds like the lawyers have been lined up and the battle for custody of a young child is beginning. It’s the same story we’ve heard and seen many times. The divorce of two people is hard enough but for two people…

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Ask for What you Need From the Right People

Divorce and separation, like anything emotional, can be a bit socially awkward. Friends who want to help just don’t know how. They know they can’t wave a magic wand and it is uncomfortable seeing someone you care about in distress. Sometimes that awkwardness causes friends to withdraw which can heap even more pain on an…

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I don’t want to be defined by this!

I used to work with a lady who would mention her divorce within a few moments of meeting someone. It was as if she couldn’t help herself, the words would just tumble out of her mouth. She had so much else to talk about, she did an interesting job, was involved with amateur dramatics and…

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“Things can’t get any worse….”

It’s funny what gets you through each day when things are difficult. When I was getting divorced we had friends next door who were also getting divorced. In the end because I stayed in our house I compared notes with the next-door neighbour’s wife who stayed in their house. We used to try and encourage…

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