Shock

It’s funny how you remember certain events very clearly. Lady Diana dying. Kate and William’s wedding. I still remember the morning that Karen told me that she was having an affair even though it was over 15 years ago. It was a beautiful spring morning and the sun was shining through the windows. I think I remember the smell of the room in my Mum and dad’s old house which they’ve now sold. I remember the strangely cold way that she started the conversation and the way that she said “she wanted to tell me” (although I later found out that she had to tell me).

I remember the shock. It was like an invisible train hitting me so hard that I couldn’t move. Even though I walked around, my mind was still stuck in the same place. I remember going downstairs to the kitchen and crying. I cried like a baby, big time.

I have seen people come on the RDS course who are still in that shock state. You can talk to them and have a very pleasant conversation but you know that there mind hasn’t moved. The train is still hitting them.

Amazingly, they get through. They can move on. It can take time, or sometimes it’s quick. Slowly they hear something which helps them accept the situation. Acceptance is such an important first step in the process of moving on.