After a long day at work and collecting the kids from playscheme, tonight on the way home I saw a man come out of a florist with a big bunch of flowers, presumably for his partner or wife to surprise them in the morning and my heart just sunk. I won’t have a card or a bunch of flowers tomorrow morning, I won’t wake up with my husband giving me a kiss and wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day, and even though we divorced a few years ago now, this day will always be difficult for me.
If you’re feeling the same, you’re not alone!
I hear people say it’s so over commercialised and they’re probably right, but moments like this just remind me of what I don’t have, that I’m now single. And it’s easy to feel everyone else will wake up with a loved one, even though they won’t. But it’s hard to get away from it all; with huge red roses and cards as you walk in the supermarket or adverts on the radio or tv.
I make a point of staying away from social media on Valentine’s Day because no matter how many years I’ve been single for, seeing lots of pictures on there of flowers or where my friends have gone out with their loved one won’t help.
At moments like this I need to remind myself that I can take responsibility for my own life, to not look back or blame others for my circumstances. My choices I make now will shape my future. So I asked myself how shall I celebrate tomorrow? I try to make it positive and something to look forward to. So I plan to cook my favourite meal with my lovely kids, have a nice bottle of wine and to light the candles at the table and after they’re in bed I plan to have a lovely bath whilst reading my book, and to remember that I do have love in my life right now, I just don’t have a relationship and that’s ok.
You could have a good friend over who’s also single or plan to go out with friends. Whatever you plan to do make sure you treat yourself and create new memories, so next year the day won’t fill you with so much dread as it approaches, and you can look forward to it and what you plan to do confidently and with hope for your future.
Read more posts from Kathy here